adventures in nostalgia

last night i finally went through a box of crap that has been following me around since 1996. in fact, it was labelled with a magnum 44 sharpie "dan's big box o' crap". essentially, it was the box of school work, notes and random crap (matchbook sewing kit, duncan imperial yo-yo, monopoly, a photo of my 1989 dodge daytona) that i hauled back and forth between home and pittsburgh for my four years of college. in it i found a lot of things, but mostly what i found was some startling revelations about myself.

the first being that i used to be way smarter. i realized this after looking through a lot of class notes and homeworks assignment and determining that 95% of it is now gibberish. what once made perfect sense (or at least enough sense to get a passing grade) might as well be the equations for quantum entanglement. it's really quite tragic, given the hours (and dollars) spent learning that stuff only to find that it's completely gone.

the second thing i was able to deduce from the contents of that box, is that i am quite possibly gay.


exhibit a

if you are having trouble reading that, it's a bar tab, listing the following items:

• 2 alabama slammers
• 1 blow job
• 2 cement mixers
• 2 lemon drops
• 2 purple hooters
• 2 buttery nipples

and below the total, as if to punctuate the whole tab with a "you're gay" exclamation point, a swoopy "Thanx! Shaun". at least he didn't leave his phone number on it.